Hear Your Heart
by Whatever62442
Summary: Research and decisions - past and future, two husbands, one great true love and most of all a living proof of that love. - basically no 20 year gap - post season 2 - ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Before you start reading please know that I am not a native english speaker and if there are any grammar or other mistakes I apologize.

 **Disclaimer** : The Outlander series and all characters belongs to Diana Gabaldon

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The warmth of Jamies body, pressed against my back, his hand on mine, reaching to the stones of Craigh na Dun. I knew he was crying. He tries to be strong even though I know that this separation will break his heart as much as it breaks mine. He will leave to die and I will love our child. I can hear him whisper in gaelic, words I don't understand, he sighs "Tha gaol agam ort Claire." and then I fall.

The feeling of falling is not as surprising as it was the first time. I knew what would wait for me, yet I didn't want it to happen. Screams. It feels like something was pulling me into the depth of water, everything went numb. I felt like I was drowning.  
My back hit the cool grass. With a flutter I open my eyelids just to look up at a typical Scottish sky and I knew I was back in my time. But was it still my time? No. I made the decision in less than a second. My time was where ever Jamie was. And our child. Our child was all I had left of him. He is meant to die on the moor of Culloden. That stubborn Scottish fool.

It started to rain. Of course. What a irony. The drops are falling on my face, streaming down my cheeks mixed with a few tears I tried so hard to hide. Not crying was hard, especially with the thought of Jamie and all the men who will die - no, who already died at Culloden - I corrected myself. Oh my Jamie.

After a few more minutes to sort my thoughts and think about what to do next, I get up, cleaned my skirt of the dirt and covered my head with the hood of the warm woollen cape. It still smelled like Jamie. Another tear run down my cheek which I swift away  
"Get yourself together Beauchamp" I scolded myself and start my way to Inverness. I need to speak to Mrs. Graham and hope that Frank is in Oxford where he should be. The road was still here. Maybe a car would see me and stop, I wondered.

But at the same time I wasn't sure if I want someone to find me.

In that rain it took me nearly two hours to reach Inverness, the rain calmed down and if I would feel anything at all I wouldfeel the cold seeping through my wet clothes making them heavier than they truly are. I was looking for a way to talk to

Mrs. Graham without the Reverend noticing I was back. He would call Frank immediately and to fulfil my plan I don't want him to know I was back. I have set my mind. This child would either grow up with his own father or with a single mother in the Highlands. I was a nurse and it would be easy to find work after the war, at least I hoped so.

Inverness was exactly like I remembered it and yet so different. The store were I saw the vase, the Inn Frank and I stayed at. The small shops in the streets around the marketplace. The Inverness of 1746 was still here. Somehow. And yet I could only see the modern things like the cars and the electricity. I saw a few people, nobody seemed to notice me. As I reached Reverend Wakefield's house I send a quick prayer up and knock on the door.

Footsteps, small fast ones, and then the door opened and in front of me was the small Roger Wakefield. He grew a lot in my absence.

"Hello Ma'am" he says shyly "The Reverend is not here." he added, perhaps he thought I wanted to speak to him. Of course he thinks that. It's his own house.

"Does Mrs. Graham still works for the Reverend?" his eyes went down my clothes. Not typical for the 20th century but all that was needed 200 years ago.

"Yes. She is in the kitchen." Roger doesn't seem to care and steps aside to let me in.

"Down the hallway to your right." he said and left me alone. The house was warm. I could smell the history laying in the books. All the old pages. The whiskey from the library and a fire from the fireplace. My skirt was dripping wet and left a tiny river on the wooden floor.

"Oh dear Roger would you plea.." Mrs. Graham started her sentence and ended mid word to look at me. "Oh dear Lord. Jesus Christ. Is that you Mrs. Randall?" a smile formed on my lips. The first one since I left.

"Actually not anymore. Please let me explain. I came to speak to you and I don't want the Reverend to know I am here. It is urgent Mrs. Graham." she takes my hand between hers, the warmth crawling up my arm.

"You must be freezing. Come sit down. I'll make you a nice cup of tea, aye?" it wasn't long before she gave me a towel to dry myself up a bit and put a cup in front of me.

"What's so urgent? Does Mr. Randall know you are here?" and in silence the question about what had happened to me.

I take a sip if the hot liquid. Lay a hand on my growing belly and look into Mrs. Grahams calm eyes. I could trust her. She would help me.

"It is a long story and a painful one to tell." She reaches out to me, grabs my hand "It is okay, take your time. The Reverend won't be home for a while."


	2. Chapter 2

Wow I am truly thankful and amazed by the respond to the first chapter. Especially since I don't even know where the story is going and hope I can keep you guys interested and entertained. I only started because I was so annoyed by the 20 year gap and finished the books a couple weeks ago that I felt like if it would be me I would have act differently. And that's how the idea was born.

Thank you.

I don't know how frequent I update, but as soon as a chapter is finished and I'm happy with it, you'll have it.

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The warmth from the hand of Mrs. Graham was gone. I look up and see in the friendly face of the woman who has been listening to my story. She is drying her tears with a handkerchief, that is why she removed her hand from mine.

"It was not my intention to make you cry Mrs. Graham, please. It will be okay." somehow I tried to reassure her that it will be okay or maybe I speak more to myself and the child.

"Claire, please. I am an emotional ol' lady, dinna fash." she looks at me and gets up from her seat "We should get you something to eat. And some dry clothes. I neglected you my dear." without me being able to say anything Mrs. Graham was out of the kitchen and I sat there alone. Looking up to the roof above me, as if I could see the sky.

Who died at Culloden? It must be evening there. Are the men still fighting or have the bloody Brits already beaten them and enjoying their victory over the Scots? Did Jamie die in pain? Or was it a quick clean death? How was Murtagh? And did Fergus made it out alive? Did he stay behind just like we told him? Did he return to Jenny and Ian? Were they okay? How would they cope with the loss of the Scottish traditions? Would they still be able to live at Lallybroch? Our home.

"He loves you so much." I say the words in a whisper and lay a hand on my belly. As I take the last sip of my tea Mrs. Graham comes back carrying a suitcase I recognise as my own.

"Frank, Mr. Randall was very determined about the suitcase staying here so I kept it in the guest room. I'll fix you something to eat and then we'll see where you can sleep."

"Mrs. Graham would you be so kind and help me with the laces? Also would you mind me freshen up a bit?" she nods and helps me open the laces. A job Jamie usually did.

I changed quickly in the kitchen and splashed some water on my face. Water out of a pipe. Modern inventions. A smile formed on my lips as I remember how I told Jamie about the hot water streaming out of a water tap and the hot bath. The only luxury I really missed when I was at Leoch and Lallybroch.

"Claire, the Reverend is coming back soon. And I must tell you that Mr. Randall is scheduled to arrive in two days." her words are interrupting my thoughts immediately and the smile forms in a neutral facial expression.

"Frank is coming?" my thoughts are spinning. Two days. How on earth am I supposed to find everything about Culloden in two days? I need to start tonight. "Mrs. Graham does the Reverend have any books about the battle of Culloden?"  
With a compassionate smile she turns to me and says "Yes, I'll fetch them for you." with this promise she puts a plate in front of me. I start eating, chewing but not tasting anything.

"Thank you. Can you get them for me now? I don't have much time before Frank comes and to be honest about it I am not very happy about meeting him. I promise that I will write him a letter to make sure he can move on so I can figure out what to do next."

"I will look for them while you finish your meal but Claire, you need to rest. You had a long journey and the bairn needs you to rest as well. Jamie wouldn't want you to risk anything." her words hit me.

"Jamie is dead! JAMIE IS DEAD!" I cry out, first as a whisper and then so loud that I even surprise myself. The sobs are coming. Uncontrollably and all at once.

"Come on, I'll get you to a room."

In a far memory I see my mother tugging me in my blanket when I was a kid, that is how it felt right now as Mrs. Graham wraps the blanket around my cold shaking body. For a second I thought she will bend down and give me a kiss on my forehead but she does not.

"Good night Claire." she says and even before I can hear her close the door I am drifting away in a dreamless heavy sleep.

As I open my eyelids I need a moment to think. I know this room. It is the guest room at Reginald Wakefield's house. I am in 1948. A pile of books are laying on the night table and a tray with breakfast. How long did I sleep? A quick glance at the clock that hangs over the door tells me it's 10 past 9 in the morning.

"Okay, you got this." I tell myself and grab the first book after I straighten up and rest my back agains the wall.

The index was not long. I quickly found the page I was looking for.

 _Clans that died at Culloden_

 _Clan MacKinnon_

 _Clan Cameron_

 _Clan MacBean_

 _Clan MacKenzie_

 _Clan Davidson_

 _Clan Fraser_

I stop reading. Clan Fraser. Clan MacKenzie.

They just mentioned the Clans and not the people in particular which somehow gave me hope but on the other side did I know that he was meant to die. I read the number of men who died, who were injured and who were imprisoned, yet there were still a number left who were alive and could flee.

 _Knock knock_

I look up at the door which opens just seconds after. It's Mr. Wakefield.

"Good morning Mrs. .." he stops and glances at me "Claire" is my answer.

"Claire" he begins again "Mrs. Graham told me that you are here and asked for my trust in matters of your arrival at my house and she asked me not to call Frank to make him arrive a day earlier than planned. So if you don't mind I would like for you to tell me why we are keeping you as a secret?" he deserves an explanation as much as Frank. Could I face him tomorrow and tell him that I carry another man's child and want him to move on from me? To declare me as dead in the 20th century. Wait, I am not dead. But as good as. I push the thought aside.

"Mr. Wakefield, Reverend. I know that I must tell you about my absence and I will. May I ask for a favour of you?" one of his eyebrows pulls up and he give me a look that says 'what else should I do besides betraying my dear friend and your husband'. I just keep going "I know you are interested in history and help Frank in his research, I have a question about the battle of Culloden, the Jacobite Rising and the men who died. Would you be able to find out what would have happen to one specific Clan?" he frowns. "I was only able to find a list of the Clans but not about the people. I think he died at the battle but I am not sure and it is very important." Mr. Wakefield sighs and tells me to meet him in the library.


	3. Chapter 3

Thankful for every person who reads my story. Thank you for leaving a review. Just thank you.

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We spent the whole day at the library yesterday. The books could not help me. None of them had anything about Jamie in them. Maybe he was dead, maybe injured, maybe imprisoned or maybe somewhere else. I like to imagine him safe somewhere in the Highlands. My warrior. And my fool. I try to believe that he is not dead, simply because I can not feel it. Deep down I know he is not dead. He is alive.

The morning sickness overcomes me and I hurry to a bathroom. Even though I feel like everything I had for breakfast was out of my stomach my lips formed to a crocked line, almost a smile. The same morning sickness I had with Faith.

"… indeed, we should get a closer look at that." I freeze. That is Frank's voice. Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ I am not ready to meet him.

"Claire I cleaned your dress and…" Mrs. Graham goes silent when she sees the panic in my eyes. Her gaze went down the hallway to Frank.

"I am so sorry, I didn't know he was already here." she apologises in a quiet voice and gives me my dress. "I make you some porridge."

With fast and big steps Frank is coming towards me. Automatically I cringe away. One step at a time. He looks so much like Black Jack Randall and it scares me. He was the reason for Jamies pain, for his hurt. For everything we have been through after Wentworth. And here is Frank who still believes and is proud that this disgustingly cruel person was his ancestor. Which only is partly true. I could provide him with the truth. He would never believe me.

"Claire, oh ClaireI missed you. What… What happened to you?" he takes another big step and hugs me tight.  
"Can't breathe." I just want him to be gone because all I see is Black Jack Randalls face. With all the strength I have I push him away from me.

"Please let go." his eyes show his confusion. Mrs. Graham watches us alerted and so does Mr. Wakefield.

"I think it's best I make you all a cup of tea." a nice try from her to rescue this situation.

It must look strange, me sitting in one of my old dresses - out of the suitcase I packed more than 3 years ago - on the chair where I last sat when Frank and I were here on our second honey moon after the war. I surely feel strange. Different. Out of place. I would rather sit in the kitchen at Lallybroch and talk to Jenny. Perhaps because it would mean I don't have to face Frank and what is yet to happen.

"Where the heck where you Claire?" I traveled through time.

"It is a long story Frank but I am here now." for now.

"Did somebody kidnapp you?" you could say it like that.

"No. I…I was with another man and I am truly sorry Frank." straight forward is maybe the best strategy. Or maybe not. He turns to Mrs. Graham who has the bowl with porridge for me.  
"Can you get me a whiskey, please." she nods and hands me the bowl. "Eat it all up, you need the strength."

"So you tell me you just run off with another man and out of a sudden you sit here 3 years later as if nothing happened? I was going crazy. I thought you might be dead. You at least could have had the decency to tell me you found someone else and not leave me like that." he was walking up and down, facing me and gripping at the arms of the chair, looking at me just like Randall did when he tried to intimidate me.

"It wasn't my choice Frank. You will think I am crazy when I tell you the truth but that is all I can give to you. The truth."

"So give me your grand truth, Claire!" he angrily spit at me. Maybe a bit from Randall was in him, it was Alex' brother after all.

"Remember we were at Craigh na Dun? I saw the plants and wanted to come back the next day to collect them. I went there and I could here buzzing and screaming so I leaned against one of the stones because I thought I was feeling dizzy and needed support but I fell. As I woke up I was in 1743. Do you hear me? I fall through time. And if I wouldn't have married the man I would be dead by now." tears were welling up in my eyes.  
Frank starts to laugh.

"You travelled through time? That is a sick joke Claire."  
"I knew you would never believe me." he takes a deep breathe.

"And just how do you think where those people called? Then tell me what happened to you, make me believe." I take a long sip of the whiskey and start to tell him about how Murtagh saved me from Randall, how they took me to Castle Leoch, about my work there as a healer, the rent party and how I ended up marrying Jamie. How much I fought against my feelings but in the end I couldn't help myself and fell for Jamie. What happened to me at the witch trail and Wentworth where Jamie sacrificed himself to save me. That we went to Paris, about Alex and Marie and that Randall married her out of necessity. I told him about Culloden and that Jamie sent me back. I didn't say a word about our love, Lallybroch, Faith or the child I carry right now. I don't want him to know about our happy place, about our first child or about our second one simply because I don't want him to stay because he feels like he has to take care of me and the child. He is after all a good decent man.

"Unbelievable." he says "This is not real. Do you even hear yourself? I will prove that this never happened, Claire. I will prove that to you. So you can finally come back to me." his eyes reflect the determination that made him say those words. He storms out of the room and leaves me close to tears. What if he sends me to a psychiatric clinic? In this time he is my husband and he could easily do it.


	4. Chapter 4

I got two chapters today because I kind of wrote in advance but now I start with a half chapter. Be patient with me.

THANK YOU!

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"Everything you said is not provable!" Frank yells at me, again. It has been two weeks since his promise of proving me wrong and he worked very determinded on it, almost if proving me wrong would mean I stay with him "You were talking about a castle called  
/Leoch but the Frasers lived at Lallybroch. In the family tree you can clearly see that there is a James Fraser and he indeed married a woman named Claire but your name is not that modern. You said this Jamie died at Culloden but in these documents  
/is written that he died in a prison called Fort Williams. Claire everything you said is just not written down in these documents." Jamie survived Culloden?

"When did he die?" my voice is shaking. Jamie is alive.

"May 9th 1746." almost a month after the battle. They killed him. He always said they will hang him when they capture him and they did. Most of the men are dead and I alone could never free him out of Fort William.

I take a look at the papers on the table. The prison wrote everything down. They had to. There was one name that stands out "Fergus Fraser" Did Frank know anything about him? He was not in the Fraser Family tree.

"Who is that?" I ask playing dumb. Frank studied me.

"Another proof that you lied. He might not be in the family tree, he was their son." he comments with a grin "He was quite a story teller. There must be a booksomewhere with his stories about the Highlands." another glance from Frank, he turns atthe  
door "Will you ever tell me the truth?" and then he is gone. I could finally breathe again. Fergus was okay. He survived the battle and the prison.

My gaze goes over all the books. Frank said he published a story book. I get up and swiftly caress with my fingertips over the backside of the books on the shelf. Reading the titles and authors waiting for Fergus' name.

"My dear, you want to join me for lunch in the kitchen?" Mrs. Graham is standing in the door as I turn around.

"My pleasure." together we go down to the kitchen. She already had set the table for us.

"Can I talk to you? Freely?" if she just asked out of politeness or because she really wants my permission is not sure to me, I nod.

"I overheard what Frank told you. Please don't think I spied on you, I cleaned the hallway and the door was open. Also since you went on this fantastic adventure not many have the ability to travel through time, I was curious and I apologise for listening  
/to your conversation." she makes a gesture to make me eat my lunch because I stopped during her monologue.

"There is a story we keep telling our children when they are old enough, about the fairy hill I make it short and say only the basics. It is right out of that book Mr. Randall mentioned. It says that there were once two lovers, connected so deep to their  
/soul, a body as one that no power could separate them. But when there comes war he took her to the fairy hill and lost her forever. He went back to fight and prayed for death because he lost her to the fairies. War ended and he was injured and alive,  
/suffering from a bad infection until death came as an old friend and freed him from his pain. His soul was still hurt and everyone who knew them could feel how his soul still suffered. Only the healing angel could save him, the lost angel. That teaches  
/us to always appreciate who we love and that even in death we can linger in our pain." it takes me a moment to process what she just told me.

I can not say anything. I have no clue what to say. Why does she tell me that? Jamie is in prison. I cannot free him.

"Claire, did you hear me?" my head nods but my eyes are starring at the wall, trying to think. "Jamie died because of an infection. This story is called 'Milord and Milady', you told me he calls you like that. You can save him." _you can save him_.

 _You can save him._

"Thank you Mrs. Graham." it's just a whisper she hears me and comforts me with a hand on my arm.

"Tomorrow is Beltane. It'll be easier to travel with the ghosts. You want to join me for a trip to the city?"

"Yes, yes I would love to."

In a pharmacy I get a few bottles of penicillin and a syringe with three needles made of metal so I could sterilise them in hot boiling water after I use them. I trade my old jewellery to coins which would help me when I get back. I only keep my wedding  
/rings. A flutter in my belly signals me that our child is as excited as I am to go back. And I would save Jamie. He will see his child. A promise I make to our child.

Mes. Grahamwatches me with a smile. Her eyes are sad.

"What is wrong Mrs. Graham?"

"You are very dear to me. And it saddens me to let you go but I will know that as soon as Jamie is better you will be taken care of. You and the bairn will be fine. A love like yours is rare and I am thankful that you trust me with your truth. I just  
/wish I would know how this will end." realising that she is like the mother I never had, I hug her. Tight.

"I write you a letter, I promise."

Back at the house I say my thanks and goodbye to Mr. Wakefield. I also ask for his absolution because I will leave Frank. For good. He does not understand it yet, Mrs. Graham will tell him everything when I am gone, but he lets me go. I will sleep thenight  
at Mrs. Graham's house. Where I spend the evening finding the right words to say goodbye to Frank. I close my letter and lay my wedding ring in the envelope.

Even though I feel like eating dinner would not be any good to me or my stomach I eat it anyway. Who knows how long I will be on the road. How quickly I find a horse and if I go to Lallybroch or to Fort William? Maybe it is smart to go to Lallybroch first  
to let Jenny and Ian know that I am okay and maybe to inform myself of what had happen.

"Thank you Mrs. Graham. For everything you have done for me. Without you, I would not be standing at these stones again and go back to Jamie." we both smile. The sun is rising, a last hug from Mrs. Graham.

"Take these stones, they will protect you. Please write to me Claire." I take the stones in my palm. "And now go my child. Go to Jamie."

"I don't even know your first name…" is all I can say before the buzzing starts and I feel the cold stone unter my hands.

Fall.


	5. Chapter 5

Just finished writing, so here you go :)

Thank you!  
I am overwhelmed and incredibly grateful for your positive support.

Also thank you for being very kind about my grammar, my little mistakes and my not-perfect-but-okayish-english.

* * *

It is silent. Very silent. Automatically I grab my belly. I can feel the moving, the child is okay and still there. 'Okay Beauchamp think, Lallybroch or Fort William?' Two different directions and I only have a little bit more than a week. I make my way down the hill and walk west. There I'll find the battlefield and the small cottage where Jamie and I spent our last moments together.

I've been walking for the whole morning when I find a house. There are horses, I can not tell how many, assuming more than three or four and chickens on their property. As I get closer I can see a woman and a few children between the ages of four to twelve in front of the house, they are helping her with the laundry. The house looks old, just like it would not survive one of those heavy storms which are somehow typical in the Highlands.

I wondered if the family will have a save place, someone who cares for them, who can provide them with a save place when these bricks are not more than a ruin after the storm.

A smile comes up. The Highland people are very creative when it is about their homes and how to make them rain and wind proof. They have this great value of their homes and the love for their land. I admired that, since I never had a place to live. To stay. Lallybroch makes me feel like it was my home. But would it still feel like it without Jamie in it with the memories engraved in every stone my fingertips would touch?

"Hello, my name is Claire Fraser." I introduce myself to the woman. She glances up at me.  
"Hello Mrs. Fraser, I'm Muireall MacKinnon." her clan also died.  
"I was wondering if you would trade one of your horses?" her beautiful round face clearly says that she is not interested but that the circumstances will not allow her to keep all horses. Especially since the men are not coming back.

"What do ye have?" I give her three gold coins. More than enough for these times. Muireall looks for one of her children, at least I assume they are hers. They look a like. The same round face and a similar bone structure. Beautiful kids.

"Lad, give the Mistress a horse." one of the older boys nods and goes to the stables.  
"Where are ye goin'?"

"I am on my way to find my husband." that he is in prison is nothing of her concern.

"Did he fight at the muir?"

"He did. I am trying to find him. You haven't seen a tall red haired man wandering around the area?" she shakes her head no. Of course not. The British got him. The boy gets back with the horse. It is a good looking horse, seems very strong and fast.

"My husband died at the muir. So did a lot of ou' men, ye keen. Godspeed to ye Mistress Fraser." Murieall seems to be kind. Her words are thoughtful. I thank her and wish her godspeed.

Just like Jamie showed me, I rest where no one would assume me, took small breaks and let the horse take a break as well. I even sent note to Jenny that I was alive and well and would try everything to bring Jamie home.

But when I arrived at Fort William I was not expecting that. Piles of dead bodies. They started hanging the men that fought for their country and their beliefs. Under Charles that stupid idiot. A woman in a Scottish dress in the middle of soldiers of the British is easy to spot and so I meet one of them. I remember him as the boy who nearly got killed by Jamie back in the woods. His name was John William Grey. He was barely 18 when we met him and here he is just at the age of 19 and Lieutenant of a prison.

"What a coincidence to see you here at such a place." he says as two soldiers escorting me in his room.

It is warm in here. A fire is burning and some candles are flickering their shadows on the wall. There is a chess board on the far left wall with two cozy looking chairs. There are just a few feet between his chair at his table and the wall and window behind him. Quite dangerous when you keep in mind that there can always come someone through and kills you. The memory of Jamie on the window sill of Randalls room flashes before my eyes.

"It is a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Grey."

"It's Lieutenant Grey" a correction that actually does not bother me. I have business to do.

He watches me carefully.

"I request to see my husband. Please." I hastily add the please to sound more polite.

"I cannot do that, Mistress." is his simple answer. An unacceptable answer to me.

"Please Grey. I just want to see him. He believes that I am dead somewhere, he needs to know I am alive and well." and to give him the penicillin. The Lieutenant Grey glances at me over his desk between us.

"Mistress Fraser, I cannot do that. It is just not possible." Oh Lord, I inhale deeply. Lay a hand on my belly.

"Lieutenant Grey, do you remember the night in the forrest? My husband spared your life and all I ask for is that you spare his life now. Let me go and see him. Let me take him home. Please Lieutenant Grey. I beg you." the look in his eyes change. For a second I could even see the memory of this meeting.

"Soldiers!" he yells and the two men who brought me here are coming through the door in no time.

"Take this woman to a dungeon. Might as well put her in with a man." they grab me and take me down. What was going to happen to me? The last thing I see before I turn my head to face whatever lays ahead of me is a grin on John Grey's face.

The two men who clearly never handled a woman before shove me rudely in a dungeon and shut the door with a loud bang.

"That I would ever see you again Claire." comes a familiar voice I thought I would never hear again. After I turn around I look at Geillis Duncan.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you guys. I love your support!

I'm actually not happy with it but I had a lot of scotch this evening so you get a treat from drunken me.

(Laphroaig is kind of the best scotch you can get)

* * *

She must see the surprise on my face because she just waves her hand and says "I know. I am supposed to be dead, guess I am not. Because of the child. They do not hang a pregnant woman, even when she is a witch." she laughs in her typical shrill tone and looks straight at me "What have you been doing the past months?" and glances at me expectantly.

"I was with Jamie. But what happened? How could you leave the dungeon?"

"Well Dougal could not let his bairn die so he decided to volunteer as a guard when I went in labour. They believed I died right there and he took me to a hidden place. The bairn is with a family of the MacKenzies. It was a beautiful boy. They did not even bother to burn my dead body. It was so easy for us. When the Jacobite rising came Dougal used the money I had from my useless husband to support the rightful king, Prince Charles. Dougal died. No one could tell me how because they all died." I know how. But I know better than to tell her that Jamie killed his uncle to save us both.

"I have not seen any men from the MacKenzie Clan. But they have your bonnie Jamie here. He's as good as dead. Don't worry Claire, you will find a new husband very soon." my shocked face must speak for itself. It's the 9th in two days. I need to give him the penicillin. I need to save him.

Geillis inspects me.  
"A bonnie lad who will be a father to his bairn." she laughs again.

Jamie is as good as dead.

I have not seen a single person in the past two days. They have not allowed me to tend to Jamie and I spent a lot of time crying and being overly emotional until Geillis slapped me and told me to get myself together. She was right. I am not a little teenager anymore.

None of what we talked about could ease my worry. I remember she told me she was from 1968 and I asked her why. Just as much as we did, Geillis wanted to change history. She was, still is, a jacobite. She wanted to travel back to make sure the Scottish traditions will not die and the right king is on the throne. It took her years to get every information she may need for time travel and to prepare her journey. And in the end, you can not change history. That is what history taught us. Over and over again. My hope to save Jamie is shrinking with every minute that passes by.

When the door suddenly opens and Grey stands in it, I fell nauseous. He looks straight at me.  
"Mistress Fraser. Get out of here. You come with me." I grab my belongings and stumble the few steps to him, his hand grips my arm tight. There are two soldiers behind him.

"Your husband is out in the field. I declared him dead." I am too late. My mission is failed. I need to go back to Lallybroch. Tell Jenny. Take his body back.

"Where.." I breathe in, trying to steady my voice "Where is his..his body?" the tears that are welling up in my eyes are laying on my tongue and make the words come out in a shaky but somehow steady way.

The soldiers are laughing.

"Where he belongs. In hell." with a hasty gesture he signals them to be quiet.

"I think he is close to the moor over there" his finger pointed to the end of the field "You may leave now. You are free." there is this hidden message I don't quite understand. Of course I am free. I was always free.

With fast steps I almost run over to the other side of the field searching for Jamie. I see a brown haired boy kneeling on the ground, he whispers soothingly in French.

"Tout ira bien. Je voudrais vous remercier pour tout, Milord" (engl.: Everything will be fine. Thank you for everything, Milord.)

It's Fergus!

"Fergus!" before I realise what I was doing he looked up and smiled.

"Milady! Milady! It is so good to see you. Milord is not well. He needs you." he runs to me, grabs my hand and pulls me with him.

"He is here. But not dead. The Monsieur Grey said he is free and I should just wait for you but you were gone. Milord told confusing story about fairies and stones. You are here. You will help Milord. Yes?"

As soon as we reach Jamie, who is barely alive and closer to death than to living, I caress his delicate skin, trace his bones of his face with my fingertips. He has a high fever.

"I am here and I will not let you die. Do you hear me? You will not die." like an automatism are my hands doing the work. Opening the penicillin bottle, filling the syringe and inject it in his left thigh. Jamie does not answer, he does not flinch when I insert the needle.

"We need to get him home Fergus. Do you have your horse?" I have so many questions for him but they have to wait.  
Jamie has an infected wound on his right thigh. It looks really nasty. I clean it with the alcohol in my medicine box and stitch it back together. I am afraid I have to wash the wound out a couple of times until it gets better but I hope that the antibiotics will do its work soon.

Sigh.

I feel better. So much better. But just for a short time because my stomach just decided to empty itself on the ground and I can reach fast enough to a bush close by.

"It's just the baby." I tell Fergus who looks at me with a worried face. "Let's get him home."

"Milady I must tell you the Monsieur gave us a carriage with straw and some food. He said we must take Milord home and that he was very fond of him. It is hidden in the trees. I can get it." he offers but I shake my head. A carriage would be visible from the prison grounds and Gray declared him dead. He saved us. Jamie, the child and me.

"Thank you, Grey."

"What do ye have this wee idiot to thank fo'?" Murtagh comes out of the woods.

"Oh Murtagh! You are alive!" he just smiles and nods while I hug him. I am so happy to see him.  
"I sure am. Takes more than bloody red coats to kill me. Besides the wee laddie needs his Godfather to look after him." With a lot of effort we carry Jamie to the carriage and lay him down. He is still unconscious. I sit in the back with Jamie, his head bedded on my lap. Stroking the red curls out of his face. They are gliding through my fingers like silk. I do not know for how long we have been on the road but when Murtagh stops and says that the horse needs a break I do not question him and take the chance to give Jamie the next injection. He does not move or flinch, just like the last time. I change the cloth on his wound and return to stroking his gorgeous face. I can feel the heat of his body that fights with the help of antibiotics a war of life and death.

"Mo nighean donn" a fragile whisper that make me cry in joy.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for all the reviews and for your patience. I know you waited longer than usual. Reason is: I wrote this chapter in Jamies POV and wasn't happy with it so I rewrote it in the usual Claire POV.

* * *

"Where is my brother?" Jenny's voice was loud, clear, angry and full of worry. When the carriage comes to a halt and she has the chance to look at us, relief was crossing her face.

"How is the foolish idiot?" she asks me.

"His leg is infected but I can handle it. I think he will be fine. Can you get Ian to get him in the house? He needs a bed and some food." Jenny nods and hurries away to get her husband. Murtagh takes the horse in the stable and comes back with Fergus. Both looking at me with relieve and somehow gratitude in Murtagh's eyes and hope in Fergus'.

"Let's get him upstairs." says Ian who appears in the doorway with Jenny and their kids. She quickly tells them to go inside and tell Mrs. Crook to fix some soup for their Uncle Jamie.

It was not an easy task for Murtagh, Ian, Jenny and me to get him in the Lairds room but when he finally lays on the bed we are glad and I start to tend to his thigh.

I give him a other shot and wash the wound out, stitch it back together. This will going to be an almost twice a day task until I can see it's going to be better. His body needs time to heal and the antibiotics were working. I could tell, after this third shoot his fever was going down and he slept much calmer. His breathing was much better. I know Jamie would make it. But if the leg would make it was another question I did not dare to answer.

I lit the fire up so it would be warm and cozy for us to sleep. As much as I know I should not sleep in the same bed to give him time to rest and to heal I cannot make myself move to another room and sleep without my husband. The few nights back at Reverend Wakefield's house showed me that it was not good for us to be apart. We need each other like we need air to breathe.

Mrs. Crook appears in the doorway I left open, in her hand a bowl of hot steaming soup. Her face tells her worry about Jamie. She has known him since he was a newborn. She basically was here forever and probably worries about him like a mother would.

"Thank you Mrs. Crook." I say and take the bowl from her to place it on the table. She puts a loaf of bread next to it.

"Thank you Lady.." with a quick "Mrs. Fraser is enough" I interrupt her. I am not used to people call me by that title and if Jamie would hear me correct her he would be furious, it feels more comfortable to be called Mrs. Fraser. She is swiftly out of the room and closes the door.

"Jamie you have to eat. I will sit you up alright. I know you can hear me and you are in there." I inform him and arrange the pillows so he sits a bit more upright and get the bowl. As I hold the spoon to his lips he slightly opens them and drinks the soup. It will help him. Between spoons for him I take one too. We finish the soup and I the bread.

While his stomach can work with the fluid in it and not aspirates the soup I leave him in this position while I change. At least that is what I wanted to do when I hear someone knocking on the door.

Perhaps Jenny, who wants to check on her brother. But when I open the door I see Fergus.

"Milady" he hugs me. "Please how is Milord?" together we walk back in the room. Talking quietly so we do not disturb him.  
"He will be fine Fergus. I promise. But he is asleep for now. We should give him time. You are doing a good job and he would be very proud of you." Fergus smiles at my words.

"In prison Milord was talking confusing but he insisted that it was true. Is it true what he said? Are you a fairy?" for a moment I have no idea what to say. Shall I tell him the truth and risk everything? It is Fergus. He is like a son to us. He is our son.

"Fergus I am not a fairy. But the stones Jamie told you about are magical. They are very powerful and can make you travel in time. Certainly not everyone can. He sent me back to the time I came from and as I arrived I needed to know if he died." for a brief moment I think about telling him about Frank, no, Fergus does not need to know. This story is a lot to deal with. "I had some help and found a story written by you. Saying he died of an infection so I came back to heal him."

His eyes clearly show his disbelieve. Fergus tilts his head.

"I believe you Milady. I trust you. Did you come back to stay?" this question is asked full of fear.

"I will not leave you again. Never. Till the day I die. I promise you that. And Fergus, we do not talk about the magical stones. It is a secret. People can burn me for it." they tried already. I hug him tight. He needs to know how much he means to me. And while I hug him I think about the baby in me. It will has a big brother, regardless if it is a boy or a girl.

"Get some sleep, we all had a long journey." and with these words I walk him to the door and close it right behind him.

"M 'aingeal" his voice sounds husky, even to me, and just like a whisper. I turn my head and look at him.

"Jamie, oh Jamie. You were unconscious and you have a fever. Your leg is infected but I can save it. Stay with me. Do not go back in the blackness, do you hear me? Stay. With. Me." I emphasise every word of the last part.

 _Stay. With. Me._

"I'll stay Sassenach." he says with a grin.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you! Truly.  
I apologise for letting you guys wait so long. I had to write a project for a class I am taking and was working a lot.

* * *

It has been a couple of months since I came back. My pregnancy is going well and I have just a few more weeks to go. Jamie and I are beyond happy that we can actually have this child and not have to face the same fate we had with Faith.

Jamie recovered well. I was able to save his leg. There is a nasty scar over his thigh but we both agreed that a scar is better than a wooden leg.

I sit in the kitchen talking to Jenny about the next steps. After Culloden and Jamie's declared dead we had a lot to consider. He was well known in the Highlands after all.

"He canna be Laird. I trust ou' people Claire but it's dangerous. I canna risk him." her voice is mad and her anger is visible in the way she cuts the vegetables for the soup she cooks.

"I know that Jenny. But we can not keep him in the house. He will not be happy held like a wild animal in a zoo."

"Who's a wild animal?" Jamie appears in the kitchen door with muddy boots and rain on his shirt and in his hair. The rain changed the colour from the beautiful auburn red to a darker bronze, almost a rich mahogany.

"Boots off or ye can sleep outside!" Jenny scolds. His steps are still a bit shaky. He does as he is told and is taking a seat right next to me.

"So what were ye talkin' 'bout?" my hope that he does forget about it fades like dust in the wind. Jenny and I share a glance. I promised him to be honest.  
"We were discussing our next steps." with a smooth gesture I put the strand of hair that is tickling me behind my ear. Jamie has an answer to that, I am sure of it. He always has an answer to anything. However he does it.

"You canna be Laird Jamie and we canna risk you out in the land. People will talk and I won't be the one who risk yo' life!" Jenny demands. The look on Jamie's face changes from surprised to understanding.  
"I keen that. I will speak to Grey. I need tto be free of the Redcoats wantin' me. I canna live with it and see my bairns grow up while they wanna kill me." the tone of his voice is serious.

"You do no such thing!" I say angry. He wants to go back to the hell of a prison and speak to the man who would have let him die? He can not be in his right state of mind.

"Claire, ye must understand that this is the only way we can live in peace. I want to build you a house, see ou' bairns play and grow up, give you a garden for your herbs and a surgery. I want to give ye everything and I canna do that with the Redcoats wantin' my head. I am a traitor to 'em and all they want is to see me dead." while he speaks he takes my hand in his and looks straight into my eyes. His glare goes deeper than just the surface of my eyes. He looks right into me, my heart and my soul. He keeps looking at me until Jenny interrupts us.

"So you'll go and turn yeself in? You must have hit your head dear brother." I try to suppress a giggle. Jamie did hit his head many many times.

"Of course not! I will think of somethin'" he says and is so certain about it that he does not want Jenny and me to say anything about the matter.

I am mad about all this and that is the reason why I retire for the night without a proper dinner. I keep some bannocks in the top drawer in case Jamie gets hungry at night and this will have to do for me. When I arrive in our bedroom I shut the door lightly and lock it. Jamie needs to know that he can not give himself to Grey and even though we all know how loyal our people are, there is no information money or anything else they have to offer will not buy. We either have to speak to all our tenants or go to another place. But how could I ask Jamie to leave this place he calls home? How could _I_ leave the place that is the only home I ever had? I want our child to grow up with his or her cousins and aunt. I want this big family life. This child needs his family.

After I change in my night gown and wash my face and hands I crawl under the blanket. The fire is burning low and will not keep me warm the whole night. So I either have to get up and extinguish it or freeze. Another option would be to unlock the door and have Jamie cuddle me warm.

"Beauchamp! He needs to understand, stay hard." this is my mantra for the past minutes. With a sigh I get out of the warm bed and tap on my tiptoes to the door and unlock it as quiet as possible.

We need Jamie to keep us warm. Also he does not deserve me being mad at him for the decision to live a happy peaceful life with me and his children. Child. Or children. We will see about that. Back in the warmth I drift to sleep.

As I open my eyes it is still very dark in the room and for a moment I need to think why I woke up. But the pain shoots in my back again and I know why. Oh dear Lord.  
"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ" I mutter and Jamie is awake. And why so? He is a deep sleeper.

"Sassenach?" he whispers in a asking tone.

"Why are you awake?" focus on something else and not the pain Claire. It will go away. You need to change your position. I swift from my side to my back. I can breathe again.

"I couldna sleep"  
"And why so?" breathe in, breathe out.

"Because ye are mad and hurt. Ye locked the door. So what is troublin' ye?"

"I unlocked it." my teeth are pressed together. I can not speak. Okay. This does not feel like I just lay uncomfortable. These are contractions. I am in labor. And it is almost six weeks too early. This can not be happening.

"Jamie" I say between the contractions "Please get Jenny. Now. I am in labor."

"No no. Ye canna be. It is to early. I counted. This.." he startles but I interrupt him "Get. Jenny. Now." a contraction hits me. Hard. I grab his hand and squeeze it as long as the contraction needs to die down. When I let go of his hand, he does not say a word, he gets up and is out of the door in no time.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you, you beautiful human being!

Happy Birthday to Caitriona Balfe - the one who lets Claire live.

* * *

Dear _Frank,_

 _it has been a while since I wrote you the last letter, but all the ones before, during the war, were a lot easier to write than this one._

 _As I told you, I found another man. In a different time. I know you do not believe me, but please read what I have to say.  
I met him on the day I disappeared from 1946. Black Jack Randall was trying to rape me when Murtagh saved me. He brought me to a small house where Jamie was sitting at the fire with a dislocated shoulder. I never meant to fall in love with him but to show how thankful he was, that I fixed his shoulder, he promised me to protect me from the others. Either the men we were riding with or the British. The Redcoats. I was in need of a friend. It was a very confusing time for me._

We were forced to marry, otherwise Randall would have killed me. We married to protect me. As a Scottish woman he could not do anything to me. I never meant to fall in love with him but I did. And I am deeply sorry for you, Frank. I loved you. I really did. One day you will find the same love I found in Jamie.

The reason I came back was not that I wanted to. We tried to stop the Jacobite Rising and failed enormously. On the day I came back, Jamie and I knew I was pregnant with our child. That is why he wanted me to be safe. He wanted to die knowing we both were safe. At least he was supposed to die. I had to find out if he died. You made it easy, you did not believe in what I said. In our wedding vows I said I will always tell you the truth and I did. I might left out that I am pregnant. You would not have let me go back if you would have known. You want a child so much, how could I make you lose us both. Now you know. I am gone. For good.

Please Frank, do not look after me in the history books. Do not keep me. Let go of me. Move on. My history is long gone while you write yours.  
I am deeply sorry.  
I have to go.

Goodbye  
Claire

My fingers are closed around the paper Mrs. Graham has left me. Claire is gone and will not be back. She told the truth. Did she? I do not know what to think anymore except "I was married to history". That is when I start to look again in my books. I need to find Claire.

I need to find her.

* * *

With all the thinking about Jamie and what could be, the worry about his leg and everything I out us through this must be happening. Of course.  
I know that premature newborns have a higher risk to die. They need more feeding, more cuddles and especially more time on the skin to regulate their temperature.

Another contraction hits me.

They come quick and hard. I get up, I can not be laying in bed. I need to move.  
I grab a few clean cloths and the baby blanket. Everything lays on the foot of the bed when Jamie and Jenny enter the room.

"Sassenach! Ye shouldna be walkin'"

"If she wants to walk, let her. It'll help" says Jenny "Ye can wait outside" he looks at Jamie.  
"No!" we both say in union.

"I want him to stay Jenny. Jamie can you sit behind me please?" he does as I told him and Jenny washes her hands. I am certain Jamie told her about the germs and that this is necessary.

"Alright. Claire I need to check how far you are. It might hurt." I nod. Jamie sits behind me, I lean against his chest. He whispers in soft gaelic to soothe me, it works. I focus on Jamie. On his voice. The breathing of his chest. His heartbeat I can feel on my back, it is racing.

"You are far enough to push Claire. Did ye water break?" her question brings me back and makes me feel the pain even more.

"It did" Jamie says. As Jenny looks at him with a questionable glance he explains "When we entered the room Claire was standing at the drawer and there is the floor wet."

"That is good Claire. That means you are a lucky woman." I know exactly what she means. The lucky woman who does not have to be in labor for days with her first child. But this was not my first child. I gave birth once. My, our beautiful Faith.

"When the next contraction comes, ye can push" just as she finishes the instruction a new contraction comes in a wave. I push.

"Aaaaahhgggrrrgghhhrraaaah" Jamie still speaks to me and I feel sorry for almost breaking his hand.

A few more pushes and we welcome our child. Jenny catches it.

"Jamie, cut the cord." my voice is husky but he moves behind me. And there he is. My Jamie. He cuts the umbilical cord with his dirk, wraps the baby lose in the blanket and keeps it on his arm. The smile on his face is so adoring and the tears are running down his check. In a soothing voice he talks in gaelic and I look to Jenny.

"Congratulations, you have a beautiful daughter" she says and looks at us smiling. At me. I look back to Jamie and our daughter. She comes closer to me and swipe over my forehead with a cold wet wash cloth. That feels extremely good.

"He's tellin' her how much she means to him and that he will protect her." I am thankful for Jenny to tell me in a whisper what he is saying.  
"Jamie, give the wee lassie to his mother. It needs to be fed."  
He reluctantly hands me our child. I push my gown down, put the baby on my chest and the blanket over it. Tears are running down my cheeks.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you all for your patience and support.  
Before I leave you to read this next chapter I wanted to apologise. First I went to Canada and didn't had my computer or my files with me and after I came back my high school friend died in an horrible car crash - may she rest in peace. Also my great aunt died last week and it's been a weird month, trust me guys.

* * *

JPOV

Claire is still sleepin' as I take the fussy wee bairn. Givin' birth was exhaustin' on Claire and I want her to rest a bit longer. I take the bundle and make my way in the kitchen. Without takin' my eyes from my bairn I sit down and start to sing a nursery rhyme I remember from when I was a wee lad.

 _Nighean bheag, gun togainn, thogainn_

 _nighean bheag, gun togainn thu!_

 _Ged a chum thu mi bho m'obair_

 _nighean bheag, gun togainn thu._

 _Hì, thogainn, hì, leagainn,_

 _Hì, thogainn, hai ù_

 _Hì, thogainn, hì leagainn,_

 _Thogainn is gun togainn thu._

 _Tog an nighean bheag don adhar_

 _Mìle rionnag ann a' tàmh!_

 _Tulg e dhoimhneachd na mara_

 _Far bheil iasgan beaga snàmh._

She is calm and asleep again in my arms. I do not dare to lay her down. This little bundle of Claire and me is all I wanted. I needed. Claire saved me in every humanly possible way and I will do anything to protect her and our bairns.

"You never forget the first time." says Ian and smiles at me "The first bairn is always special. Just wait for the next ones" with a half smile I look at him.

"Oh I'm not sure Claire is ready for a second child, ya keen. We need to figure out what to do first."

We are in a very difficult situation. With me nowhere to go for a few years and I couldna stay here. To Claire this is the only home she ever had, it will be breakin' her heart. And mine.

"Ya home is here." Ian says to me.

"I canna leave the house. I am not a free man. They still want my head once they find out I am still a livin'g man" I sigh "We might sail to the new world." of course does Ian start laughin' at me.

"You canna be on a boat for more than a minute and you want to sail months to this land?"

"I know Ian, but that is the only safe way for us. We canna stay. That is impossible. I think you can make arrangements for us?" my eyes are lookin' for his. He has to help me bring my family to a new home. A safer place. In his eyes I can read the sadness of our departure but we - no I - I canna endure livin' here with death right behind me. I have a wife and bairn to think of now. But regardless of his opinion he nods and I can be sure he will take care to find a ship for us to leave home.

"Uncle Jamie can I hold my niece?" wee Jamie asks me. He looks up at me with his big eyes, my sisters eyes. I pat my hand on the seat next to me and he takes place.

"Verra careful" I tell him as I give her in his small arms "How are we calling her?" again, his eyes are staring at me. If this would be a wee lad his name would have been Brian, after my Da.

"Julia Ellen Fraser"

"I like that verra much Uncle" with his wee hands he cups her cheek "I take care of you." that makes my heart fill with incredible joy and sadness. He will not be able to look after her once we are gone. Julia starts to fuss in his arms, it is time for her to eat.

"I'll take her to her mother. She needs to eat, wee Jamie. Go and help your Ma." he nods and after I take her in my arms again he jumps off his seat and runs out of the kitchen.

I open the door as quiet as possible so I do not wake up Claire but when I push my head through the gap between door and frame I can see that she is awake so I enter the room and close the door behind me. With a grin on my face I walk over to her and hand her our bairn. Julia immediately starts feedin'-  
"Did you have a good rest?" she nods.

"Wee Jamie asked about her name" Claire looks up at me. Meet my eyes.

"What did you tell him?"

"I named her after our mothers. Julia Ellen."

"Julia Ellen Fraser. I like it." a sigh leaves my lips. I am not aware that I was tense about the name. My beautiful wife is truly amazing. Nursin' and looking so wonderful at the same time. I would like to do things to her that have to wait for a while longer.

"Jamie what are we going to do? We need to think about the future" her words pull me out of my thinking.

"I talked to Ian to make arrangements for us to sail to America. We need a safe place and I canna take care of you and the bairn while we are here in Scotland."  
"We will be on a ship for months." she says thoughtful of my seasickness. It will not be a pleasant time. I might die by the thought of spending weeks on a ship.

"I am aware" my palm cups her face "But I do what I need to do to keep you safe." I lean forward to kiss her lips.

With a sudden thump the door opens again and Jenny is staying in the door. She looks frightened.

"Jamie, Claire. You need to hide. Now. The English are comin'. Quick Jamie.

"I'll me back, mo nighean donn." a hasty kiss full of passion and I leave her behind.

"How many?" I ask Jenny as I follow her down the stairs.  
"Five, they are coming from the south."  
"I'll hide at the stables, behind the horses in the small room where Da kept the scotch."  
"It's not safe Jamie."  
"It will be. Put Donas in there after you closed the door." Jenny nods. She hands me a bannock and a flask.

"Look out for Claire and your niece. I trust you with their life." is all I can say before Jenny closes and locks the door. A few moments later I can hear Donas. And then I hear swords and crying. What am I doing in hidding when they need me out there?

* * *

I looked for the nursery song a few weeks ago and couldn't find where anymore or the translation, I changed it from "little boy" to little girl" which makes it hard to find again. It is an actual song from the 18th century.


	11. Chapter 11

I apologise to all of you.

You waited for a long time for an update and I could tell you why it took me so long but I don't want to make excuses for a busy schedule and things happening that occupied me more than it should have.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever you celebrate.

* * *

CPOV

Jamie leaves quickly with Jenny and I stay behind in the bed nursing the baby. I am not alone for long because Ian pokes his head through the door frame. Hesitant of going in after he looks at me, laying half naked in the bed. I pull the blanket higher so there is no bare skin to see for him and the baby is safe.

"You can come in, it is alright." I gesture him to walk further in the room.

"Jamie is safe. The Redcoats are comin' and are lookin' for Jamie but they won't find him. I swear to ye Caire!" and with those words he leaves the room again. And me behind.

A fight is going on since I can hear the crashing of the swords from my position. I can also hear wee Ian cry and Jenny telling him to walk in the house.

"Aunt Claire?" a sobbing cry from wee Ian. A glance to the bundle in my arms, Julia is fast asleep. Nursing always makes newborns fall asleep.  
"I am here, come join me." a few short moments later he crawls on the bed next to me.

"Is my cousin asleep?" I nod "Can she play when she wakes up?" Ian leans against my shoulder and gets comfortable. I think the crying makes him tired.

"Sure." he takes her small hand in his and stays like this. It takes a while until I realise that I can not hear the fight anymore and that wee Ian is asleep. Everything is alright, I just need to wait for them to leave and Jamie to come back to us. Allowing myself to drift in a soft slumber.

Which gets rudely and suddenly interrupted by bangs against the door. I turn my head to check on wee Ian and see that his eyes flutter open.

"Close your eyes and do not move." it's just a whisper but he nods and closes his eyes again. Right before the door flings open and two British soldiers are looking straight at me.

"We have her!" they yell and come closer to me.

"What do you want from me?" a disgusting grin forms on their faces.

"Justice." is all they say before I see Black Jack Randall enter the room after them. My heart starts to race and my mind is working fast. Jamie said he killed him at the battle of Culloden. Jamie saw him die. How is this possible?

"Leave." he orders the two soldiers in a cold harsh tone. Those are turning around and leaving me with him, not without smirking at me.

Julia starts crying and Ian takes her tiny hand in his.  
"Shh it's alright baby Julia, it's alright." he soothes her. If the danger would not stand in the room this moment would be so precious and adorable.

"Ian please take her to your Mother and tell her I will be down soon." as I send them to Jenny I make sure he holds my daughter right and secure. It is nor far to the kitchen and I am sure they will make it.

"You are supposed to be dead." he laughs.

"That depends on what you see Claire." my anger grows.

"It is Missis Fraser for you."

"Do not be absurd Claire. When I read your letter and thought all you wrote was a lie but Mrs. Graham was quite informative as she told me that there are legends in Scotland. People believe in them and are very opinionated about them." this is not Randall, no. It is Frank. He is not supposed to be here. He should be in Boston. And how did he travel through the stones? How did he know where to go and where to find me?

"Why did you follow me?"

"To bring you home."  
This is my home." but Frank refused to listen and grabs my arm and pulls me with him. I try very hard to fight him off but he is stronger than me.  
"Let go of me Frank. I am at home."

"You will come home with me. You are my wife and it is my right to take you. We are in the 18th century after all."

JPOV

Everything is silent outside of the stables. I am not sure if it is save to leave. Ian needs to get us on a ship soon. Very soon. I canna stand it anymore and open the wooden door to stand face to face with Donas. He looks at me and wants to get closer.

"It's just me." I hold up my hands and move along the side to get out. My steps are hasty but quiet. As I approach the house I can hear an unknown voice and Claire.

 _"Let go of me Frank. I am at home."_

 _"You will come home with me. You are my wife and it is my right to take you. We are in the 18th century after all."_

What a bloody bastard. I get my sword and run around the corner to come to stand in front of a person I killed myself.

"Claire." I say as my eyes watch the person who looks like Randall but has a different voice.

"Jamie." the relief in her voice is thick.

"You!" he yells at me "You stole my wife and yo…"

"I didna steal her. She came to me. And when I sent her back to die she returned to me. Not you. She made her decision. So I suggest you let go of her or you'll pay with your life." it is a threat and to make my point I get my dirk out as well. Two weapons against one sword and he doesna even know how to use it.

If all Claire told me about her Frank than that he was not a fighter. He couldna use a sword properly and would lose his life rather quickly if he decides to fight with me.

Ian steps right next to me, nods. He shows me a two with his hand and points inconspicuous in the direction where the enemy stands. If we kill them, Claire, Julia and I have to leave. Tonight or latest tomorrow. There is no going back.

"Frank please let me go." the hurt in Claire's voice is clenching my heart. "If you want to live, let me go." a desperate threat from her but she knew I'd to anything to make sure she stays with me. As long as she wants to.

Frank's head turns from her to me and back. He pushes her to the wall of the house and pulls out a pistol and aims it at me.

"You have no right. She is my wife first and you seduced her in marrying you. I do not know what you did to her. What kind of weird Scottish magic you used but there is no Claire Fraser in the history books I studied. There is no evidence of you or any of those people here. You never really existed"

But before anything else can happen the two Redcoats are joining us and Claire runs to me and in that moment the pistol goes off with a loud bang.


	12. Chapter 12

**Dear Readers,**

 **I am truly sorry this is not an update. It is a note to say:**

 **I will continue working on it. Not sure when but I will. For now there is so much going on that I do not have time to write and am not able to find the right words in how to continue the story. All I want is to give it the attention and passion it deserves, but am not able to give for a while now. I also will set the story on complete to not disappoint anyone who hopes this will be updated soon.**

 **I am grateful to all of you who put this story in their favourites, who followed this journey, who reviewed and who was here.**

 **Thank you!**


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